He is such a slut. More and more my type.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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