But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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