I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize