4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
