I hate all girls vehemently.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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