Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just had sex on a roof
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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