I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
