I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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