i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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