It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
