You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
