I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
