frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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