you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
