He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
