her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
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Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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