you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
