I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
