the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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