She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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