Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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