Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
