nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
