Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
