Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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