I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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