We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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