The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
