worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
