Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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