And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
