So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
