I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
