So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
