Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
