so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
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The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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