i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
