there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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