I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
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Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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