playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
