you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
