He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
