u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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