You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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