As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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