drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
