I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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