I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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