dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
