You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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