To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
