I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
