Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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