It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
