i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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