i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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