Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
